Saturday, August 4, 2012

I have a dilema. I welcome advice.

I have a dilemma, I will start from the beginning.

I have a cute son, who from the best we can figure out has extreme anxiety, especially in a crowd. He is a sweet boy who wants nothing more than to be good. However when there are people around he "freaks out" I can see it in his eyes. It is more of a look of fear then anything. He hits people if they get close to him and he gets upset very easily. Finally after a couple years of school of always being in trouble and being called a bully they got him in a learning center class for kids with behavior issues. It really seemed to be the ticket. He improved throughout the entire year. It was so nice to think that he might learn to control himself and not have kids thinking he is mean. When really he is so kind and caring.

He then started his second year of school at a new school because he was to old for the learning center he was in. From the beginning we had issues with his teacher. His behavior went downhill quickly and he was constantly in trouble. I was worried about him. I thought maybe we needed to change his meds or something else. I didn't agree with the teacher on some things and so I would call the district or talk to the principal about things. But the situation continued to deteriorate. (I may go into more detail another post) One day at SEP (student, educator, parent) meeting, his teacher went on and on for over a hour about all the things my son had done wrong (with him sitting right there). I could tell it was hurting him to hear these things. Finally he said to her "well you pull me over my desk and slam me into the wall" to my astonishment her reply was "well you should have been doing your work"

I sent in a request to have him moved, stating what had happened. After some time I was told he would be moved in a couple weeks to a new school. During that time things got worse. He would come home and tell me she would do these things to him and I didn't believe him. I thought he was exaggerating. I know he can be hard kid to handle so I was assuming it was him. (I feel so bad) The last week of school he would cry everyday begging me not to make him go to school and telling me that his teacher would lie to another kid telling him that my son had done something to him to make the other kid hurt my son. It was just to much to believe. A grown woman, a teacher would never do that.

He finally got moved to a new school and his behavior improved 400%. He was not in trouble everyday. He would go days without any problems. This made me wonder what had really happened at the old school.

I talked to several adults that were in and around the situation and found out that everything he had ever complained about had actually happened and more. His teacher was physically and emotionally abusing him nearly everyday. My poor boy. This is where my dilemma comes in. What do I do? How far do I go? I sent in a letter to the district, 19 pages on what had happened. I haven't heard anything in weeks. I know she was moved from the school she was at because some of the adults told on her. But to my amazement she was not fired. She is still teaching kids. From the responses I got when I would call the district or the principal on her she has had issues before. How can a person be allowed to still teach after that. If they don't make it so she can't teach again what do I do? My son is out of the situation so part of me wants to just stay out of it and not drag him through anything more. But the other part of me feels a responsibility to the kids who may be in her class in the future. What if someone had stopped her before my son was in her class? He would be so much better off right now.

Do I go to the police and press charges?

Do I sue her and the school district for knowingly placing my son in harms way?

Do I go to the media to see if I can get results?

My goal is not to make her go to jail, it is just to make sure she is not allowed to hurt anyone else. I don't want to sue because the taxpayers will ultimately be the ones to get hurt, as that is the only income source for the schools. I don't want my son to have to testify or be run through the ringer. I know she has already tried to turn everything I said against me. Even one of my good friends for years will not talk to me because she taught with her.

Why is it that the person that has the crime done against them is the one that suffers through the entire process? I just want it to go away but I don't feel I can let it. Why cant the district have the backbone to do the right thing and stop putting me through this? Maybe they will.